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Over 60s, Loneliness and Depression

chelseabree said:
I think people think a lot more about retirement these days. There used to be an old super scheme called SSS. When you retired you had a pension for life. The Govt got rid of it because people were living for too long. In the olden days men , especially, used to retire at 60 and be dead in 5 years. Me personally, I love Souths and history and so I work on the local historical society at Gerringong and do a few bit of history for Bunnies TV. Keeps me occupied. Just finished a week working on the elections. Good bit of pocket money.
I think you just need to have a project that is a passion. Some people on the Southern Highlands have old cars.
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My best mate down in Queanbeyan did some volunteer work during the last Fed election and will get involved again after this weekend's State election. Said he enjoyed it and keeps him focussed now that he's retired. He also does volunteer work down at the wildlife sanctuary and has a large, sprawling garden on his brother's property where he lives that he is constantly working on. Got to find what makes you content at this stage of life.
 
Grumpy, I have no idea what I said that makes you want to tell me to F*** off. I would think that a comment like that is totally contra the purpose and spirit of this thread.
And for the record, I attended schools in QLD, NSW and New Zealand. In fact 12 of them. I have lived most of my life in NSW, but also 6 years in QLD, 6 years in New Zealand, 6 years in Papua New Guinea, several years in Cyprus, and some 12 years in 6 to 12 month stints in places across Australia, the UK and Europe. Consequently I have very few long term or close friends.
And I am bipolar, diabetic, overweight and have undergone cardiac bypass processes.

And I have lived alone for many, many years.

Your post brought back memories of a friend I had on a Souths forum who was also called Grumpy. My questions were intended to ascertain if you were that long, lost friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now my 80th birthday occurred earlier this month, and I was struggling through the processes that occur with ageing, and I thought (obviously mistakenly) that you could be a great companion for me to walk down that unknown future.

I was wrong, and YES, I will kowtow to your wishes and F***off.

Bye.
 
MegaRabbitoh said:
Increased irritability is a common symptom of depression, no matter what age you are but you can get an extra loading of it after around 60.
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I can relate to that.
I said to my wife recently when you are born you start with a full tank of patience, and now my tank is just about empty. I have close to zero patience these days, things that didn’t used to bother me are now irritants. This all magnified once I’d retired. I’m aware of it so I have to check myself from time to time.
 
Gazman said:
I can relate to that.
I said to my wife recently when you are born you start with a full tank of patience, and now my tank is just about empty. I have close to zero patience these days, things that didn’t used to bother me are now irritants. This all magnified once I’d retired. I’m aware of it so I have to check myself from time to time.
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There's trait and then there's state. Our traits are rusted on and as we age, they can slowly change but it is your natural baseline. Then you can be in a state which is far more transitory - a bit like the distinction between the climate and the weather.

So, how grumpy are you naturally (for this or any stage of life) and then how much more grumpy does depression (among other things) make you? You at least want to get back to your baseline or average amount of grumpiness which would be one of several signs your depression is easing. It fluctuates like the waves in the ocean as it is but if you can make it to dry land, so to speak, then you're back to your usual grumpiness and not the kind with extra mustard.

Hope that makes sense.

I like my metaphors (you may have noticed.). :)
 
MegaRabbitoh said:
There's trait and then there's state. Our traits are rusted on and as we age, they can slowly change but it is your natural baseline. Then you can be in a state which is far more transitory - a bit like the distinction between the climate and the weather.

So, how grumpy are you naturally (for this or any stage of life) and then how much more grumpy does depression (among other things) make you? You at least want to get back to your baseline or average amount of grumpiness which would be one of several signs your depression is easing. It fluctuates like the waves in the ocean as it is but if you can make it to dry land, so to speak, then you're back to your usual grumpiness and not the kind with extra mustard.

Hope that makes sense.

I like my metaphors (you may have noticed.). :)
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mmmmmmmmm.
i like mustard
 
I turn 66 this year and have come to recognise in myself a couple of personality traits that i don't particularly like. I have lost a lot of patience and am very quick to get onto a behavioural slippery slide of jumping straight into becoming angry and defensive as well as always needing to be right. I am trying a couple of new strategies. Firstly I am wearing a red and green Rabbitohs 1908 rubber wrist band to help me to remember to take a few deep diaphragm breaths rather then head automatically onto the anger/ impatience slippery slide. Its sort of a way to help me not get caught up in the all too easy slipstream of destructive responses. Its still a work in progress. Secondly, and I know this is something that won't suit everyone, i am trying some anti depression/ anxiety medication to help get back to a better plateau to develop improved behaviours which will in turn hopefully enable me to feel better about myself and improve my relationship with others. Again a work in progress.
Look, i hope i haven't overstepped the mark with too much personal stuff in this post...its just that i have found talking about stuff and sharing ideas quite cathartic at times. Anyway, best wishes to all my fellow old farts. Go the Bunnies!
 
This thread has tossed and turned a bit. But it's really good to see all our brothers reaching out ❤ strangers or not.

Grumpy, I really hope you find what your looking for. Life is ****ing tough.

reach out if you, or anyone else here needs anything, can't guarantee an answer, but all ears/eyes.
 
Bamurru said:
I turn 66 this year and have come to recognise in myself a couple of personality traits that i don't particularly like. I have lost a lot of patience and am very quick to get onto a behavioural slippery slide of jumping straight into becoming angry and defensive as well as always needing to be right. I am trying a couple of new strategies. Firstly I am wearing a red and green Rabbitohs 1908 rubber wrist band to help me to remember to take a few deep diaphragm breaths rather then head automatically onto the anger/ impatience slippery slide. Its sort of a way to help me not get caught up in the all too easy slipstream of destructive responses. Its still a work in progress. Secondly, and I know this is something that won't suit everyone, i am trying some anti depression/ anxiety medication to help get back to a better plateau to develop improved behaviours which will in turn hopefully enable me to feel better about myself and improve my relationship with others. Again a work in progress.
Look, i hope i haven't overstepped the mark with too much personal stuff in this post...its just that i have found talking about stuff and sharing ideas quite cathartic at times. Anyway, best wishes to all my fellow old farts. Go the Bunnies!
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Firstly, you haven’t overstepped the mark.

And well done on taking steps to resolve what you perceive as issues in your life. You’re never too old to change.

With regards to breathing techniques.

One I particularly like to use is called box breathing.

There are a number of variations, but when I’m getting antsy or before an important meeting, I will use this pattern of breathing for about 2 minutes.

Breathe in through the nose for a count of 4
Hold for a count of 4
Breathe out through the mouth (with lips almost making a whistle shape) for a count of 4
Hold for a count of 4
Repeat.

The other one I like to do, but it makes you look weird is to do alternate nasal breathing.

Basically you put your first two fingers of your right hand on your brow, just between the eyes.
Breathe in through your right nostril, while blocking your left with your third finger.
Breathe out through your left nostril, while blocking your right with your thumb.
Breathe in through your left nostril, while blocking with your thumb.
Breathe out through your right nostril, while block with your 3rd finger
Etc.
You change nostrils on the exhale if that makes sense. Again do it for about 2 minutes.

Both work very well to interrupt patterns - for me anyway.
 
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